I have never felt this way before..

I can't explain what I'm feeling right now. I'm all so excited and happy.

Do you remember when you're younger and you're going for a trip?

You would pack your bags days before the actual trip.

You would go to bed early the night before.

And in the end you don't get any sleep at all because you're just too god damn excited..or just too afraid of getting up late and missing the trip altogether.

The anticipation of something fun/good that you know is going to happen.

That is what I'm feeling right now.

It's going to be almost 2 years now ever since I left home. I know I've blogged about my family and friends back home pretty often these few weeks but I just can't help it. I have too say that my life and heart is still and will always be back in Malaysia. As cheesy as it sounds, I mean it. Even with crime rates increasing, horrible traffic jams, stressfulness, humid weather, places packed with people everywhere, crazy politicians, corruption....I still love Malaysia.

I miss my family, my friends, the delicious food, the priviledge of having a car, soccer, shopping, cinemas, night life, mamak, everything is cheaper and etc..

I never missed home so much. I wonder if anyone out there would understand how I feel right now..there are people that left home for studies just like me and are ready to settle down overseas. Because they have spent around maybe 3-4 years away from home. In those few years they have made new friends, adapt to the lifestyle and are already comfortable in where they are and what they are doing in life. I have made great friends here too and I wouldn't give that up for anything. Just like my friends back home. I'm happy for these people. I wished I knew what I wanted to do with my life.

But if I knew, I think life wouldn't be as interesting as it is right now. I don't even know I am making much sense now..just bear with me..

As far as I know now,

I'm looking forward to be back in Malaysia for good in mid 2008(visa expires).

But I don't mind getting residency here. But if I do get it, I'll keep it and return home. Of course I'll stay awhile more because that will be one of the requirements. I might come back here when I'm old and grey maybe.. Another factor would make me stay is a better pay slip or a better job. But that won't make me stay long either..because:

1) I know that sooner or later I wanna be back home.

2) Parents are getting old and (touchwood million of times) they will not be here forever(just typing this, is making me tear). I'll be broken but that is just life. I'll hate myself for not spending time with my family. 3 years is a very long to be away from your parents and family. We always do take things for granted.

3) Friends..ppl that make your life worth while. They have already planned to pick me up, yum cha the same night I'm back after spending some time with my family..enough said..wouldn't you wanna be back? No wonder I cried when I left...enough said..

4) Majority of the good friends here in NZ will be back in Malaysia sooner or later too..but for those who aren't I'll miss you..

5) NZ is so boring..the country is beautiful..but it is just not my type of country..it is just making me slow..if you get what I mean..

Anyway...enough about that...just wanna say I can't wait to be back...I've already started packing some clothes and food..

Life..oh life...all I know now is ...I MISS HOME AND I MISS MY GIRL! Click here to cheer you up after a long read… 2 MORE WEEKS BABY!